5 Buys That Will Help Us Take Our Jobs Back From The Robots

5 Buys That Will Help Us Take Our Jobs Back From The Robots

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5 Buys That Will Help Us Take Our Jobs Back From The Robots
This piece was written by the people who run the This course sounds like it could be a catchall for anything, whether it’s a toaster tutorial or a Pacific Rim defense manual. Sorry to kill your jaeger-piloting dreams, but not quite. With over 60 hours of content spread across 10 courses, this bundle will teach […]

This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.

Let’s face it, the Automation Armageddon is upon us. For years, we assumed that the robot revolution would come in the form of an evil supercomputer that short-circuits when you ask it how to love. But nope, it was the self-checkout line. And it’s only getting worse. Thus, you’re going to have to make yourself useful to the industries that still need brain flesh to function. Luckily, you can pick up some automation-proof tech skills with five of our handy online training courses.

The Complete Machine Learning Bundle

This course sounds like it could be a catchall for anything, whether it’s a toaster tutorial or a Pacific Rim defense manual. Sorry to kill your jaeger-piloting dreams, but not quite. With over 60 hours of content spread across 10 courses, this bundle will teach you to use big data tools like R, Python, Java, and Hadoop. Meaning that not only will you be able to use that toaster, but one day you might even be able to program it to speak French. Pick up the Complete Machine Learning Bundle here for 95 percent off the usual price.

The Deep Learning And Artificial Intelligence Introductory Bundle

The movie Flubber might be based around the titular dancing goo, but the unsung hero was Robin Williams’ little robot buddy Weebo. She could do any impossibly tedious task that Williams asked her to do, and now you too can teach machines to accomplish every inane goal that you set for them. With this course, you’ll discover deep learning techniques to train neural networks on vastly diverse data to find meaningful patterns and model complex cognitive processes. In human terms, that means you’ll learn to style all over the Turing Test. You can get this Deep Learning bundle for just $39.

The Complete Raspberry Pi 3 Training Bundle

Raspberry Pi might sound like math’s first excursion into the realm of the delicious, but it’s actually a series of small computers in an extremely affordable package. But if you buy one without a fairly decent grasp on computer science, it’s going to collect dust on your shelf next to that barely touched soldering iron and those foreign language books. This training bundle will give you plenty of background knowledge and projects to unlock the true potential of your microcomputer. Grab this course bundle here for 91 percent off — just $19.

The Complete Introduction To R Programming Bundle

R is a powerful programming language that’s specifically designed to work with data sets to build interactive visualizations. Think of it like PowerPoint and Excel for the … initiated. Anything can be proven true as long as you have the numbers to back it up, and with R, you’ll be able to statistically karate-chop your boss into giving you anything you want. (“Look boss, working in my bathrobe increases productivity by 23 percent!”) These five courses and three ebooks will introduce you to writing programs in R with machine learning and data mining techniques. This bundle is usually over $600, but you can get it here in our store for $49.

Amazon Alexa Coding Bundle: From Zero To Hero

If there is one thing that unites humanity, it’s being lazy. Things that once demanded in-person interaction, like shopping for clothes or dating, can now be taken care of with a click or a swipe. And in our opinion, the world is better for it. To help realize a future in which you can order pizza with a single grunt, take a look at these two Amazon Alexa coding courses. You’ll learn to make Alexa the ultimate personal assistant, so you can focus on the important things, like what blanket configuration provides optimal comfort as you watch Netflix in bed. Grab this bundle for just $19.

The future sounds so comfy.

It will be. And it can get even comfier once you check out our full catalog in the Cracked Store. You can also pick out some ultra-soft T-shirts with futuristic mashups in the Cracked Dispensary. And who knows; maybe after mastering these bundles, you’ll be the one to usher in the age of AI singularity. We’ll be waiting on the couch until you do.

As you prepare for our inevitable servitude to our bloopy overlords know that we Salute you. You are truly doing the work of Tesla: God of Thunder. Godspeed, man.

For more ways to protect yourself from the inevitable robot uprising check out Don’t Let These Products Fall Into The Wrong (Robot) Hands.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-to-safeguard-your-future-from-robot-overlords/

He used to be homeless. Now he’s a mayor. And he’s only 28.

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He used to be homeless. Now he’s a mayor. And he’s only 28.
When you walk into the office of the 28-year-old mayor of Ithaca, New York, you get an instant taste of what it means to have a young person running your city. An LED display mounted above the couch in his office flashes text messages that are sent directly to the mayor, Svante Myrick. The messages […]

Glen Campbell, hit singer and guitarist, dead at 81

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Glen Campbell, hit singer and guitarist, dead at 81
(CNN)Glen Campbell, the upbeat guitarist from Delight, Arkansas, whose smooth vocals and down-home manner made him a mainstay of music and television for decades, has died, his family announced on Facebook on Tuesday. He was 81. “It is with the heaviest of hearts that we announce the passing of our beloved husband, father, grandfather, and […]

The 3 things you learn after your mother dies.

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The 3 things you learn after your mother dies.
My mother died from ovarian cancer when I was a young child. Im in my late 30s now, and Im still navigating this loss as I move through life. Ive lived most of my life without my mother at this point, but I still miss her. Here are three things Ive learned since losing Mam: […]

Stabbing attack in Minnesota mall; 8 injured

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Stabbing attack in Minnesota mall; 8 injured
At least eight people were injured on Sunday after a stabbing attack at a Minnesota shopping mall which ended with the suspected attacker dead inside the mall.St Cloud Hospital Communications Special Read more: http://www.thehindu.com/news/international/usstabbingmall/article9120905.ece?utm_source=RSS_Feed&utm_medium=RSS&utm_campaign=RSS_Syndication

Hating Donald Trump isnt enough we need to talk about why Hillary Clinton rules | Lindy West

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Hating Donald Trump isnt enough  we need to talk about why Hillary Clinton rules | Lindy West
If we care about our future as a non-blown-up planet, its time to stop treating the Democratic candidate as if shes barely better than a literal white supremacist If theres one thing Donald Trumps 2016 presidential campaign has taught us its to view every depraved moral nadir as a challenge, not a destination. You think […]

10+ Hilarious Wives That All Men Secretly Wish They Were Married To

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10+ Hilarious Wives That All Men Secretly Wish They Were Married To
Relationships can get way too serious sometimes, especially when stress from work, kids, and expenses gets involved. Laughing together creates a feeling of warmth, relaxation, and bonding, and has even been said to stimulate physical attraction. #2 My Husband Bet Me I Couldn’t Shave His Foot Without Him Waking Up. This Is What He Woke […]

A viral photo of a calm dad and a screaming toddler holds an important parenting lesson.

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A viral photo of a calm dad and a screaming toddler holds an important parenting lesson.
Young kids don’t always pick the best times to have emotional meltdowns. Just ask any parent. Grocery stores, malls, and restaurants (or any place with lots of people around) in particular seem to bring out the worst in our little ones, prompting explosive tantrums that can make even the most stoic parent turn red-faced with […]

25 Things Every Woman Should Have By The Time She Turns 25

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25 Things Every Woman Should Have By The Time She Turns 25
1. Enough confidence to no longer feel the need to justify what she eats, who she dates or what she wears, not only to other people, but 2. The goal of a bank account with a fewmonths’ living expenses in it, if she doesn’t have that already. Just in case. 3. Only the phone numbers, […]

10+ Random Acts Of Genius Vandalism (New Pics)

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10+ Random Acts Of Genius Vandalism (New Pics)
Bored Panda has already collected one list of too-funny-to-be-illegal acts of “vandalism” but too many genius pieces have emerged for us not to make another. From sculptures becoming skateboarders, to trees transforming into a Simpsons character, these gems deserve all the recognition they can get. Scroll down to enjoy this compilation and don’t forget to […]

10+ Who Wore It Better? Pics That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

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10+ Who Wore It Better? Pics That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
#2 This Woman Or Homer Simpson? #4 Grandma Or The Carpet? #6 Donald Trump Or This Ear Of Corn? #8 Ivanka Trump Or This Burrito? #9 Lady Gaga Or This Patio Heater? #12 This Woman Or This Hotel’s Corridor? #14 Kim Kardashian Or This Onion Bag? #16 Justin Bieber Or A Panini? #18 A Boy […]

Tired of stereotypical girls’ clothes, these women did something about it then banded together.

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Tired of stereotypical girls’ clothes, these women did something about it  then banded together.
You might remember this photo that went viral back in April: Original photo by Jason Y. Evans, shared with permission in this Upworthy post. It was being sold in New York University’s campus bookstore. The boys’ equivalent to the girls’ “I hate my thighs” baby onesie was “I’m super.” (I mean, really?! That’s some pretty […]

How The Same Day Looks From Moms And Kids Perspectives

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How The Same Day Looks From Moms And Kids Perspectives
Those mundane and exhausting things that moms do with their children might actually be the little things that make their lives magical. Vlogger Esther Anderson of Story of This Life has created a heartwarming video to remind everybody that moms, battling all the struggle and chaos, will always remain the best people in our lives. […]

Mom Gets Bad Feeling as 3 Strangers Stare At Her DaughterThen She Hears Say Bye to Mommy

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Mom Gets Bad Feeling as 3 Strangers Stare At Her DaughterThen She Hears Say Bye to Mommy
It started as a conversation about “how cute her daughter is.” Seconds later, she saw what they were really up to… In a viral Facebook post byAmanda Cropsey Florczykowski, oneconcerned mom is aimingto raise awareness about the dangers of sex trafficking that could be lurking in your own neighborhood. The near abduction that she experienced […]

This insane color gradient puzzle takes some serious patience to put together

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This insane color gradient puzzle takes some serious patience to put together
Image: The Jacky Winter Group Just to let you know, if you buy something featured here, Mashable might earn an affiliate commission. For some, jigsaw puzzles are a slow, relaxing pastime that exercise the creative and logic centers of the mind. For others, it’s their version of a personal hell. If youre one of the […]

Learn how to become a better photographer with the help of these online courses

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Learn how to become a better photographer with the help of these online courses
Image: pixabay Just to let you know, if you buy something featured here, Mashable might earn an affiliate commission. Shooting great photos can be hard, but it doesnt have to be reserved for the Insta-famous Gray Malins of the world. You too could learn to take photos that will have people oohing and aahing. But […]
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