5 Buys That Will Help Us Take Our Jobs Back From The Robots

5 Buys That Will Help Us Take Our Jobs Back From The Robots

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5 Buys That Will Help Us Take Our Jobs Back From The Robots
This piece was written by the people who run the This course sounds like it could be a catchall for anything, whether it’s a toaster tutorial or a Pacific Rim defense manual. Sorry to kill your jaeger-piloting dreams, but not quite. With over 60 hours of content spread across 10 courses, this bundle will teach […]

This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.

Let’s face it, the Automation Armageddon is upon us. For years, we assumed that the robot revolution would come in the form of an evil supercomputer that short-circuits when you ask it how to love. But nope, it was the self-checkout line. And it’s only getting worse. Thus, you’re going to have to make yourself useful to the industries that still need brain flesh to function. Luckily, you can pick up some automation-proof tech skills with five of our handy online training courses.

The Complete Machine Learning Bundle

This course sounds like it could be a catchall for anything, whether it’s a toaster tutorial or a Pacific Rim defense manual. Sorry to kill your jaeger-piloting dreams, but not quite. With over 60 hours of content spread across 10 courses, this bundle will teach you to use big data tools like R, Python, Java, and Hadoop. Meaning that not only will you be able to use that toaster, but one day you might even be able to program it to speak French. Pick up the Complete Machine Learning Bundle here for 95 percent off the usual price.

The Deep Learning And Artificial Intelligence Introductory Bundle

The movie Flubber might be based around the titular dancing goo, but the unsung hero was Robin Williams’ little robot buddy Weebo. She could do any impossibly tedious task that Williams asked her to do, and now you too can teach machines to accomplish every inane goal that you set for them. With this course, you’ll discover deep learning techniques to train neural networks on vastly diverse data to find meaningful patterns and model complex cognitive processes. In human terms, that means you’ll learn to style all over the Turing Test. You can get this Deep Learning bundle for just $39.

The Complete Raspberry Pi 3 Training Bundle

Raspberry Pi might sound like math’s first excursion into the realm of the delicious, but it’s actually a series of small computers in an extremely affordable package. But if you buy one without a fairly decent grasp on computer science, it’s going to collect dust on your shelf next to that barely touched soldering iron and those foreign language books. This training bundle will give you plenty of background knowledge and projects to unlock the true potential of your microcomputer. Grab this course bundle here for 91 percent off — just $19.

The Complete Introduction To R Programming Bundle

R is a powerful programming language that’s specifically designed to work with data sets to build interactive visualizations. Think of it like PowerPoint and Excel for the … initiated. Anything can be proven true as long as you have the numbers to back it up, and with R, you’ll be able to statistically karate-chop your boss into giving you anything you want. (“Look boss, working in my bathrobe increases productivity by 23 percent!”) These five courses and three ebooks will introduce you to writing programs in R with machine learning and data mining techniques. This bundle is usually over $600, but you can get it here in our store for $49.

Amazon Alexa Coding Bundle: From Zero To Hero

If there is one thing that unites humanity, it’s being lazy. Things that once demanded in-person interaction, like shopping for clothes or dating, can now be taken care of with a click or a swipe. And in our opinion, the world is better for it. To help realize a future in which you can order pizza with a single grunt, take a look at these two Amazon Alexa coding courses. You’ll learn to make Alexa the ultimate personal assistant, so you can focus on the important things, like what blanket configuration provides optimal comfort as you watch Netflix in bed. Grab this bundle for just $19.

The future sounds so comfy.

It will be. And it can get even comfier once you check out our full catalog in the Cracked Store. You can also pick out some ultra-soft T-shirts with futuristic mashups in the Cracked Dispensary. And who knows; maybe after mastering these bundles, you’ll be the one to usher in the age of AI singularity. We’ll be waiting on the couch until you do.

As you prepare for our inevitable servitude to our bloopy overlords know that we Salute you. You are truly doing the work of Tesla: God of Thunder. Godspeed, man.

For more ways to protect yourself from the inevitable robot uprising check out Don’t Let These Products Fall Into The Wrong (Robot) Hands.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-to-safeguard-your-future-from-robot-overlords/

Nostalgic Flashback Of 1969 High School Fashionistas

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Nostalgic Flashback Of 1969 High School Fashionistas
In October 1969, students and young adults alike were “living the dream.” This new era, the era of hippies, freedom, and love, brought them a “release,” even in the fashion sense. Gone were the days of stuffy clothing and repressed style. In 1969, LIFE magazine stated, “The latest rule in girls’ high school fashion is […]

Can’t take off for the Women’s Strike? Here are 21 ways to show your support.

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Can’t take off for the Women’s Strike? Here are 21 ways to show your support.
On March 8, 2017, A Day Without a Woman, an international women’s strike will take place. In the spirit of the highly successful Women’s March on Jan. 21, the International Women’s Strike was organized to raise awareness of the seen and unseen ways women and girls contribute to the economy, all while receiving lower wages, […]

Latest updates: Shooting at Munich shopping centre: German police

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Latest updates: Shooting at Munich shopping centre: German police
Several people were killed on Friday in a shooting rampage by a lone gunman in a Munich shopping centre, police said. The newspaper reported that the gunman ran through the mall near the Olympic s Read more: http://www.thehindu.com/news/international/world/latest-updates-shooting-at-munich-shopping-centre-german-police/article8887646.ece?utm_source=RSS_Feed&utm_medium=RSS&utm_campaign=RSS_Syndication

Bill Maher Blasts Leaked Trump Tape: Making Sexual Assault Great Again

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Bill Maher Blasts Leaked Trump Tape: Making Sexual Assault Great Again
The Real Time host unloaded on the Republican presidential candidate for his claim that, because he was famous, he could grab them by the pussy. “> On Friday evening, The Washington Post released their October Surpriseand it came from a very unlikely source. The paper released a video of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump, who […]

Just getting a little shopping in!

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Just getting a little shopping in!
Read more: http://imgur.com/gallery/oMd8aEB

Nirvanas Nevermind Turns 25: How Kurt Cobain and Co. Created the Album That Defined the 90s

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Nirvanas Nevermind Turns 25: How Kurt Cobain and Co. Created the Album That Defined the 90s
On Sept. 24, 1991, three scuzzy rockers released their sophomore album. And the world was never the same. “> Nirvana is easily the most mythologized rock band of the last 30 years. Even casual music fans can recite the CliffsNotes version of why Kurt Cobain, Krist Novoselic, and Dave Grohl are important. From igniting a […]

Here’s What Kurt Vonnegut Can Teach You About Life

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Here’s What Kurt Vonnegut Can Teach You About Life
1. It’s important to stand up for what you believe in. After hearing that his book was not only banned, but burned in a school’s furnace, Vonnegut wrote a personalized letter to the head of the school board, stating, “If you were to bother to read my books, to behave as educated persons would, you […]

Christmas Music Could Harm Your Mental Health

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Christmas Music Could Harm Your Mental Health
You might want to put the Christmas decorations down for a second, and unwrap some presents, because there’s a new warning that Christmas music could be bad for your mental health. That’s right, if you’re in the mood to hum along to Mariah Carey’s Christmas jingles, it might be best to leave the high notes […]

Son Tries To Convince Mom To Buy Maxi Pads (Video)

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Son Tries To Convince Mom To Buy Maxi Pads (Video)
Son Tries To Convince Mom To Buy Maxi Pads (Video) Son, can you not? via Ebony Clark Read more: http://dailypicksandflicks.com/2015/10/19/son-tries-to-convince-mom-to-buy-maxi-pads-video/

Is This Porn? 5 Realities Inside A Strange New Art Form

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Is This Porn? 5 Realities Inside A Strange New Art Form
While browsing YouTube, you’ll occasionally run into a strangely popular video of a person, usually a young lady, doing nothing but making soft noises into a microphone. They might be whispering seemingly random conversations, quietly reading, crinkling paper and plastic, eating chips and other crunchy snacks, coloring, or otherwise making soft scratchy sounds. There are, […]

5 Parts Of Small Town Life That We Swear To God Are Real

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5 Parts Of Small Town Life That We Swear To God Are Real
Last week I was on a pretty well-received double podcast, talking about what it’s like growing up in a small town. Like most small town stories, the longer we talked, the weirder it got … and even after the recording, I realized that these areas have a lot more strange traits that sound like the […]

Heres How The Internet Reacted To Prada Releasing A Paperclip For $185 (10+ Pics)

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Heres How The Internet Reacted To Prada Releasing A Paperclip For $185 (10+ Pics)
Yes. That’s right. A paper clip for the bargain price of $185. It’s made from sterling silver and, unlike normal boring paper clips that only hold documents together, this one holds your money, or whatever money you have left over after buying one of them. Sounds awesome, right? Well, not according to the internet, because […]

Girl Bumps Into Boy in Mall Playground

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Girl Bumps Into Boy in Mall Playground
While a father and his daughter played around in an indoor shopping mall playground, the little girl wanted to jump from a high platform. The girl was hesitant at first but her father encouraged her to jump. As soon as she got the courage to jump, she accidentally bumped into a little boy on the […]

Man Receives Tumor Instead Of The Kindle He Ordered

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Man Receives Tumor Instead Of The Kindle He Ordered
A British man received quite a shock when the courier service thatwas supposed to be delivering a Kindle to his address sent him a package containing a tumor tissue sample from Americainstead. The sample was supposed to be sent to the Royal Free Hospital in London, yet somehow ended up in Bristol at the home […]

NASA Is Celebrating A Very Different Type Of “Black” Friday Today

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NASA Is Celebrating A Very Different Type Of “Black” Friday Today
Most of you are probably snapping up deals in Black Friday sales today. But we’ve got something even better – Black Hole Friday! Yes, today NASA is celebrating its fifth annual Black Hole Friday, where instead of subjecting you to endless shopping deals, it’s treating you to a whole host of facts about black holes. […]
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